The Judgemental Mother

I am getting really good at NOT being a judgemental mother.

For this I am ridiculously proud!

It's really hard not to be judgemental. To not believe that I am doing it the right way and other people aren't quite there yet.


We probably are doing this whole parenting business the right way... for OUR children. But as we all know, no two kids are exactly the same, and parents have different priorities for their children, or their priorities arranged in a different order of importance, so no two parents really parent 100% alike. Catch my drift?

My girlfriend recently commented to me that she is amazed at how content my daughter is playing with one toy. I explained to her that I have a two toy policy... no more than two toys to play with at any given time and as she has quite a few toys given to her by everybody else, these get rotated daily. Our girlfriend has a daughter who has always been surrounded by toys and is bored quickly with each toy she picks up to play with.

Before I knew it I was defending our friend saying how we each have different priorities. She has always been an 'on demand' mother, I trained my daughter in a schedule that meant she slept for the right amount of time, ate the right amount of times and have basically made people adhere to her schedule if they want to see her! I wish I could have been as relaxed as our friend (whose babies also eat and sleep the right amount!) but I needed to put her in a routine so I could feel secure I was doing things right.

I was at an Engagement Party on Saturday night and there was a married childless woman, a mother of a two year old boy and myself talking about children. I was telling the other ladies how much I enjoy how Missy Moo and I sing Nursery Rhymes every morning after her bottle, how we sing our ABC's at each nappy change and the games we play to excite her sense of touch and improve her motor skills. I love watching her reactions and seeing the improvements in her.

The mother of two was gobsmacked. She started explaining to me how she had so much to do during the week and how exhausted she was between work and taking care of the house, husband and boy. How all these things meant she didn't really have a chance to do these things with her boy. I had to tell her to stop making excuses because they weren't necessary! I told her that I have time to play games and research activities to do with my daughter because I work less then half the hours she does and I have two gorgeous cleaning ladies!

And yes, I know, I am spoilt rotten by my adoring husband who has never played the role of the token father, changing nappies, giving bottles and getting up in the middle of the night for her from day one. He is amazing, a legend and most days he's my hero when he's not making me want to scream for leaving the SAME GOD DAMNED CUPBOARD OPEN EVERY MORNING despite repeated requests that he please just humour me and close it.

We all do the very best we can, so why do we constantly feel like our best isn't good enough when another mother goes a mile further than us? And why do we secretly feel smug when we get something right that another mother just can't seem to get under control?

There is so much love and support in the online world, and yet I always feel it lacking in real life?

I do, or don't do, everything for a reason. So why don't I just explain my reason when people read relatives tell me other ways to do things? Instead I feel judged that they think something can be done better.

Do you catch yourself being a judgemental mummy? And how do you deal with feeling like you are being judged as a mother?

The Pharmacy Files - I am a Pharmacy Assistant So...

I was going to begin the Pharmacy Files with a post on Ease-a-cold. My absolute favourite product in our store except the New Zealand Ice cream we sell and the Darrell Lea of course!

But then I remembered hearing about a Facebook page called I am a Pharmacy Assistant So... and I thought I'd wonder on over and see the sights.

It made me laugh. Out loud. Quite loudly! I suggest you swing by and have a read!

I thought I'd add a few of my own to the list...

I am a Pharmacy Assistant So...

I don't find it funny when I'm down on my hands and knees cleaning shelves and you say "While you're down there love..." You are a creepy pervert and yes, I have told the pharmacist, that's why you only get served by males instead of "all you pretty young things".

I am a Pharmacy Assistant So...

That means I'm not a pharmacist OR a Doctor, so I can't just go and get you a box of the tablets that will wake your 'friend' up. You need a prescription buddy, trot off to the Doctors!

I am a Pharmacy Assistant So...

I ask you a bunch of random stupid questions because I'm curious, not because it will help me to figure out why your *insert random body part here* is itchy/smelly/has a rash and how to treat it.

I am a Pharmacy Assistant So...

I will sell you the most expensive product to help you if you LET your kids take to my nice clean shelves like they are bowling pins and their arms are the bowling balls. It's not cute neither is you laughing at them doing it and it'll take me another 10 minutes to clean them for the fifth time that day, probably while hearing the "while your down there love" comment yet again!

I am a Pharmacy Assistant So... (and this one works for all of the retail section)

I love it when I hold my hand out collect your money and you push my hand aside so you can dump it on the counter. I understand that to mean that you don't want to risk contact so I'll kindly place your change on the counter too (despite your hand being held out for the money). See how considerate I am?

I am a Pharmacy Assistant So...

I don't really care if you are buying extra large condoms. But I will laugh at you after you leave if you try to engage more than one or two other pharmacy assistants in conversation about your extra large imagination manhood.

I am a Pharmacy Assistant So...

I don't set the prices. That's a job for the Boss and the PBS. But I do get tired of hearing you complain that our *insert random product here* is $1 cheaper at the pharmacy down the road. Here's a suggestion, go and buy it at said pharmacy!

I'm a Pharmacy Assistant So...

I do actually love my job! I love my regular customers who are lovely and sweet, and my walk-in customers who are pleasant to serve. I love knowing about the all the products that we sell and I mostly love that whenever my friends are sick, they always ring me because they trust my knowledge and my advice!

There will always be negative parts to any job, and all in all, a couple of bad customers isn't too bad of a complaint to have. Saying that, I wish I could have the following sign hanging at work (whichever workplace I work at but it particularly works in pharmacy)

See you next time!