Just a Mum

When I was pregnant I couldn't imagine not returning to work. I was certain I would need more stimulation than being 'just a mum' would provide. So it really caught me by surprise when I found myself not wanting to go back to work.

You see after becoming a mum I realised there is no such thing as 'just a mum'.

I am a cook, a cleaner, a maid. I'm the Queen of the Calendar, the Goddess of the Washing, the Princess of Puke Cleaning. I am the sewing machine maid, the driveway sweeping saviour, the lawn mowing maiden. I organise, I plan, I execute with precision. I budget, I juggle, I perform with such attention to detail that bad surprises almost never occur. I assemble, I scrub, I search for the perfect item, all while adding to the never ending to do list in my head and mentally ticking off what I've already completed.

And I love. I love with a passion that is so fierce it could light up the whole world.
And I feel. When my child is hurt, I can guarantee that I am hurting more. My heart breaks, and unlike my baby, who will soon forget her pain, it stays with me, forever.

Since becoming 'just a mum', I have completely organised our home, I spend several hours each day reading articles on The Punch, Crikey and Mamamia, along with an ever growing number of mummy blogs. I learnt how to sew, paint, put furniture together, and assemble kids toys (you do need a rocket science degree to figure those out).

Since becoming 'just a mum' I have spent time with ageing family instead of wishing I could but being too busy to, I have spent time with my husband that doesn't involve venting about my stressful day at the office but enjoying his company. Since becoming 'just a mum' I have renegotiated he interest rate on our home loan after writing to the CEO of our bank and posting it on this blog.

There is no such things a 'just a mum' or 'just a dad'. Not in this home. So next time someone asks me what I do for a living, I'll be sure to tell them I'm the Managing Director of a small company specialising in tonnes of fun,  devoted love and bucket loads of laughter.

Oh, and because I'm just like mostly everybody else, I did end up finding paid employment again but this time as a part-time pharmacy assistant. Life is expensive and one income isn't quite enough to keep us plodding along!

How do you feel about the phrase 'just a mum'? If you're a SAHM, how do you respond when someone asks you what you do?

Walking the Walk

As a new Mum, I received more advice than I could filter on such limited sleep. I listened, I picked and chose what I would consider and I discarded some that I thought unsuitable for our situation.

My daughter was not a good sleeper. She was a sleep fighter. She'd often lull her father and I into a false sense of security and then BAM, just as we thought we had won, she let us know the fight was not over.

Being first time parents, when asked how our little bundle of joy was sleeping, we forgot to lie or thought people could tell we were lying anyway just from looking at us.

The most common 'advice' people gave to us was to let the baby 'just cry it out'.

I was determined to try everything else first before resorting to this tactic. Luckily, Missy Moo is like her mother and found that a firm routine was all she needed to provide her with a sense of security and allow her to sleep.

But Missy Moo is not silly, she knows when she can pull the wool over someone's eyes, particularly if those eyes are the adoring eyes of her grandparents.

Let me paint a picture for you, it is of my father in law. Shaved head, goatee, intimidating, stern look on face, not exactly brimming with warm and fuzzies. As a father of four, he dispensed parenting advice to his son, the advice being, 'just let her cry it out son'.

Fast forward 8 months and he and his wife have taken Missy Moo for the afternoon, which includes 1 nap. Missy Moo is put down, she fusses a little, has a bit of a cry, and my father in law sits there in his chair, agitated. This is the man that has to have the television volume so loud I feel like I have to yell to have a conversation, when I'm in the next room. And yet he can hear his grand daughter fussing.

"Go and get her, stop her crying" he barks at his wife, unable to handle his grand daughter whinging. Let me be clear, there was no yelling, no screaming, no loud wails of desperation coming from my daughter, just Missy Moo, testing her grand parents limits.

Missy Moo 1, grandparents 0.

I'm really looking forward to the piles of advice I receive when I have baby number two, I think my new tactic will be "great idea, how about YOU come over and implement this strategy".

Don't talk the talk if you can't walk the walk peoples!

It must be said however, that it does melt my heart watching my FIL turn into a soft teddy bear when my daughter is around, she is really lucky to be so loved by so many. Plus, it's kind of cute that my FIL can't handle my daughter being upset, even if it did result in Missy Moo being cuddled to sleep that day which meant she spent the next two days protesting nap time because she wanted to be cuddled to sleep for every sleep thereafter!

What advice (parenting or otherwise) have you received that made you cringe?